


Guilt

by helens78



Series: Matter of Time [5]
Category: Star Wars RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-26
Updated: 2003-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-05 11:37:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helens78/pseuds/helens78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ewan questions whether he's letting this happen to him.  He's sure not avoiding Liam right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the warning; this entire series revolves around noncon.

Ewan still aches from the hard, forced fuck over the table in Liam's trailer. His ass is the least of it. His shoulder hurts, after the way Liam yanked his arm behind his back and held it. His neck hurts, after the way Liam bit down until Ewan was sure he'd broken skin. His wrist hurts, where Liam's fingers bit hard into flesh.

Ewan wonders if Liam would be taking these chances if their costumes didn't cover all those places. Jedi robes are terribly concealing.

He wasn't drunk this time. He'd wanted to remember what was happening, so he could figure out what exactly worked when getting Liam into bed, and repeat it later.

Only now...

Ewan hisses as he pulls his shirt off, alone in his own trailer. He rubs his aching shoulder and lets his head drop a bit. His neck is going to bruise badly, but Liam didn't break the skin. It might hurt less if he had.

Ewan runs a finger along the bruise on his neck and shivers.

On the bed, on his back, left hand drawn up and curled around his neck, fingers digging into the bruise there. Right hand down between his legs, pumping frantically, needing to come, thinking of Liam all over him and just taking him, not asking because the answer would have been yes and it would have been too easy...

Ewan gasps hoarsely as he comes, eyes squeezed shut.

It takes him a few minutes to come to his senses, and he blinks his eyes open, staring up at the ceiling in shock.

_Did I want him to do that to me?_

He shakes his head, closes his eyes. The mess on his stomach is getting sticky.

_Fuck, that's sick. No, of course I don't. I wanted him to fuck me, yeah, but..._

His eyes open and fix on the ceiling again.

_Oh, nice try, McGregor. Convincing. Pulling yourself off like you're fourteen again and now you're trying to say you didn't want it like that? Who the fuck are you trying to fool?_

His eyes close, this time squeezing shut hard. He pulls his hand away from his cock and wipes the mess up with the top sheet.

_You're the one who went back there. You're the one who asked for that._

_All right, shut the fuck up. I did not ask for that._

Ewan opens his eyes again, glaring up into the darkness. _Oh, but he thinks you did. He knows he raped you the first time and then you came back so he could do it again. He does think you're asking for it, and maybe you are._

_Fuck you._

But he throws an arm over his face, wincing at the pain in his shoulder, his wrist, his neck. _It doesn't have to be like that. He does want me. It doesn't have to be this way._

_Doesn't it?_ He hisses at the little yapping voice in his head. _What if it does? What if this is all you ever get? Is that enough?_

_Fuck you,_ he thinks, hoping like hell the voice will shut up.

He winces as he rolls over, wondering if he can get into a comfortable sleeping position. His shoulder complains. He ignores it.

_Will you settle for this?_

Ewan pulls a pillow over his head. _Leave me alone. Please, just fucking leave me alone._

_-end-_


End file.
